how does it feel! [alyssa]

How often did she have the time to stand by her lonesome on the edge of an island that was large enough to hold down civilization – even more so a space station? There was rarely a chance for her to do that anymore. Normally, she was busied about seeing to her responsibilities. Seeing to the people that depended on her. Seeing to the region that depended on her just as much as the people living in it. And to think... she mused silently, crossing her gloved hands behind her back, against the brown leather of the belt situated on her hips, ...that I’ve been in this war for almost a full year now. Everything seemed surreal.

The time that had passed blurred together, only noted by splatter of violence here and there. It seemed like it had been so long since she stormed onto the beach of Olivine City alongside people that were then of equal rank to her. The blue eyes of the Leader narrowed and she clenched her fingers together. She remembered everything that had happened at that battle in a mere instant. It flashed within seconds through her mind, like the scattered and fragmented memories tormenting a soldier as PTSD. Her jaw tightened and she closed her eyes, trying to force the memory of taking down the lighthouse back.

Stop... she thought, lowering her chin to her chest, her eyes tightly closed.

She saw herself standing on the plateau by the lighthouse, tears streaming from her eyes as she pointed at the incredible landmark structure. She stood next to her Gardevoir, whose hands were raised over her head with a powerful sphere of energy forming in the middle.

No...! She heard her voice shouting at herself in the memory, but for no reason it seemed, as the Hyper Beam launched from the Psychic-type anyway.

Stop!

Her hands flew to her head and she felt her back bending over. The brilliant blue-green light of a Solarbeam powered into the side of the lighthouse just below where the Hyper Beam had struck.

The sound of the structure breaking overwhelmed her.

”Stop!”

It was a shout. Loud, too. Hopefully, though, not loud enough to bring others running.

The Leader fell to her knees, the red fabric of her jeans covering her knees stretched just slightly over the three-story tall edge of the island. ”Just stop...” she whispered, curling her fingers in her white hair, trying to weed the memory out.

The voice of someone behind her made the Leader freeze instantly. Get it together, she heard her voice echo inside her head. The determination to regain her form in the presence of someone else battled furiously against the memories that felt like they were crushing her. She immediately pried her hands away from her temples and pressed them into her lap. Her blue eyes opened with the sound of uneven footsteps drawing near. She stayed silent, not answering yet. Instead she stared at the water bashing against the rocks beneath her.

A leg apeared just to her side, dangling over the ledge and she turned her head slightly, forcing hair to fall from behind her ear to the side of her face. ”The locals did nothing.” she said quietly, stiffening some at the arm laid across her shoulders. ”I’ve been by myself. It was just...” Alyssa shrugged slightly, unwilling to tell a stranger of the guilt-ridden images. The Leader forced herself to swallow. ”...it was nothing. Sorry for worrying you.” She turned her head slightly to look at his hand, where a candy sat.

”You know,” she chuckled quietly, ”...as nice as that gesture is, I must say it probably wouldn’t score high with protective parents who are watching over their children.” Even after saying that, she took the candy out of his hand and held it carefully between her fingers. ”Thank you, though.” She straightened and looked at the man who had come to comfort her. ”It’s appreciated.”

”I guess...” she murmured, giving her head a thorough shake when he stood up. More than a guess... Alyssa thought to herself. Memories used to be something she believed to be good for pressing herself forward, or good for reminders. Heck, most of the time they were just good in general. Now, though, that was no longer true. The ignorance and naivete of a child was something she felt people that had seen war craved for. The Leader pushed herself from her knees and into a more proper position she could stand from, doing just that on her own, having not seen his hand offer for help since she looked down once more at the waves.

”That sounds like it could be interesting...” she told him, wondering if there was somewhere in Mossdeep she didn’t know existed. It was possible, seeing as she paid very few visits to the far east of Hoenn. ”I’d like to see it.” There was a small smile, now, rather than one that came about only because he comforted her. ”You can call me Alyssa, by the way...Alyssa Akiyama. Nice to meet you.”