一分钟 // [steven]

[daigo]

he felt the pressure on his arm, and at once, he pulled himself out of it and brought it close to his chest where his arms crossed. he was being defensive, sulky, and ten different moods, all negative. the place where cynthia had touched him burned. it didn't feel like his arm anymore. he tightened his arms, making it seem as if he was crossing his arms, but in reality, he was recoiling from the contact iself.

"leave me alone," he finally mustered the strength to say despite the shaking of his voice - it was all coming apart again, wasn't it? - "i'm going to be fine. i'm not going to be some pissy teen and cut myself in my room."

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[lunefeng]

she was growing gradually more hesitant, he seemed almost mentally scarred by the event. cynthia slowed her motions, pausing as she simply watched him for a few seconds.

it was impulsive. cynthia was out of options at this point. the blond threw her arms around steven's neck, hugging the other. "rustburo wasn't your fault. please believe me." she said, murmured into his shoulder practically.

"there's nothing to be done now, but to move on."

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[daigo]

he felt as if he was tossed into flames, alive.

steven squirmed under her grasp, almost feeling his skin melt off his bones together with his flesh. the involuntary contact made him struggle, trying to release himself from her grip, but it was rather unlike being gripped strongly by the arm like before. he didn't have the energy to fight back; the word 'rustboro' had the effect of stunning him every time the syllables were uttered.

"it was, it was, it was."

he muttered the two words over and over like clockwork. he had took it harder than he thought he would. even as he flew to fallabor upon wing, he had thoughts. thoughts of throwing himself back into the carnage of war, where he could forget everything. but the last bit of him held back - daigo held him back. it wasn't what he liked to do. he needed to do what he liked and wanted to, to go after his dreams.

someone told him that when he was a child.

he could almost see him telling him what to do next, but ...

"it was, it was, it was."

his jaw trembled, and eyes were softened by tears.

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[lunefeng]

cynthia kept a tight hold on steven, which was a bit difficult. she had to stand on her toes, arms tense. she was shocked when she saw him as he spoke, eyes shimmering with a sheen of water. "it's okay, steven." cynthia whispered softly, a hand running through his hair. "it's okay."

she'd spent many a days in celestic with her grandmother, almost in the same situation after kiyoshi had left. her slender fingers slowly ran their path through the other's hair, before settling on staying stationary on his back.

there weren't quite words to describe what cynthia was feeling, eyes closed as she leaned her head against steven's shoulder. her goal at the moment was simply to be there, trying to help him through this time. "i promise, it's not your fault."

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[daigo]

he continued muttering those two words over and over. there wasn't any other way around it. even if cynthia told him it would be okay, he still didn't believe her. who knew, she could be another liar, another one of those people who were going to stand in his way one day.

he knew, because he had read the papers. lux champion - they all loved her, adored her. he knew where he stood, as a member of nox. he tried to convince himself that what she said were all lies.

"it's entirely my fault."

for the first time in three minutes, he said something other than the other two words. it didn't make him feel any better, however. the tears trickled down his cheeks; they were warm, human, quite unlike the cold shards of glass prickling at the edges of his eyes and in his heart whenever he shut them.

he saw the city burning. he saw it going down.

so this was the burning feeling he felt; he was as much a part of the city as all the bricks and mortar were.

"i could have done ... something ..."

he shuddered. it was taking immense effort for him to not cave in and cry. his shoulders trembled; to steady his emotions and posture, he clenched his hands tightly into fists flanking his sides.

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[lunefeng]

when the tears broke the damn, cynthia pulled back slightly. she no longer stood on her tiptoes, silver eyes watching the tears trail down steven's cheek. "it's in the past now." she said softly, wiping a tear from his cheek. cynthia leaned her forehead against steven's, looking up at him.

"in the past. there's no use changing the past, steven, we're not dialga." goodness knew she'd had enough trouble with that pokemon already. "but you can help rebuild it. we can go together. it's okay."

that would be later. "for now, just... don't hold in emotions, okay? it's not good for you." a word of advice from elena monet. "i'm... here for you." it hadn't been her initial intention to have come to comfort him, but it seemed to be what he needed.

"anything you need to help you feel better."

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[daigo]

he shut his eyes when her finger brushed close to his eyes. his shoulders shuddered even more now; the more he tried to get his body to stop the shaking and get out of here, the more it acted in the opposite manner. it was as if whatever cynthia said had the reverse effect upon him.

he didn't say another word, instead letting the tears fall uncontrollably. holding them back made the glass come back; he was going to let the tears wash the shards of glass away from his eyes. take the pain away together with the falling tears.

"i don't ..." he took a shuddering breath, "i don't want to go back. i don't want to, cynthia. i don't want to go back anymore. i want to stay here." stay here until the end of time. don't go anywhere. just me and wing.

what about cynthia?

me, wing, and cynthia.

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[lunefeng]

she wiped the tears as they fell, gently brushing them away with her finger, then her sleeve. she was startled by how vehemently he didn't want to go back, quick to respond to him. "it's okay, you don't have to. don't worry, steven." cynthia moved so that she was hugging the other again, not sure if this was the right thing to do. she wasn't sure what to do with steven, having to act on impulse.

"i'll be here as long as you need me, okay?" cynthia whispered into his ear, continuing to brush his cheek with her hand, wiping the tears away. "why don't you sit down again?" she gently nudged his shoulder towards his chair again, trying to get him to sit down. "let it all out."

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[daigo]

he muttered something incomprehensible to cynthia, and made no move to the chair. he stood where he was rather firmly.

he eventually mustered the strength to pull her arms away from him.

that didn't stop his emotions from growing more turbulent by the second, however. he raised an arm to wipe away the tears. the fabric was harsh against skin, but the pain woke him up and forcibly dragged him back to reality. he realized he had been emotional.

"no. no, thanks."

he stood facing a wall, a hand pressed against it as he stared at the cracks. he tried to count them, but to no avail. he needed a distraction.

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[lunefeng]

detatching herself, cynthia stepped back, carefully watching steven's face for emotions. "are you sure?" she asked cautiously, eyes full of concern.

"it's okay to say that you're not okay, you know." cynthia's voice was soft, smooth. "i was in a state similar to yours when one of my best friends left celestic town, because of me. it absolutely devastated me. i myself didn't do anything, but it was my fault nonetheless." cynthia paused. "i could have prevented it. i-i don't know how, but there had to be some sort of way."

it wasn't her time to mourn though.

a sigh. "all i'm trying to say is, it's okay if you're not all right. it own't be the end of the world. openning up isn't all that bad."

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[daigo]

"it hurts."

he turned back to look at her for the first time. it was a direct gaze straight from cobalt into silver; but his gaze wasn't as hard or harsh as before. there was nothing accusatory about it, or blaming involved. he was significantly calmer, but a far cry from his usual self.

"i'm fine, but it hurts. right here."

it didn't take a champion to figure out it was his heart.

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[lunefeng]

"tell me why, steven." cynthia met his eyes with a steady gaze of her own, averting physical touches for now. she had a good idea, already, of why it hurt, but she wanted him to say it out loud. she wanted him to get it off his chest once and for all, to let someone else bear the weight with him.

"tell me why it hurts."

her eyelashes fluttered once, took a step forward.

she had her own hand resting atop her own heart as well.

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[daigo]

he felt as if he was being quizzed, and he didn't like the feeling of answering questions he didn't want to admit the answer to. he glanced aside when he saw cynthia's hand upon her own chest, right above where her heart was.

she probably knew his answer already. why was she still asking, then?

"it just does."

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[lunefeng]

"it just does, ah?" cynthia offered him a wry smile, arm falling to her side. she had a feeling she wasn't going to get anything out of him for a while. "okay. it just does." she kept her voice hushed the entire time, almost as if she was dealing with a startled woodland animal.

"how can i help to make it stop ten?"

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[daigo]

he shrugged, eyes kept trained on the wall. twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight. he liked how there were more the more he kept looking at them. it was as if they were multiplying for some reason. he was happy about it, however. it was a good distraction from other matters.

"you don't. you can't."

he stopped himself before he said more. he wasn't sure what else there could be other than letting the wound heal on its own. he remembered kiri, who had been his morphine for a week or so, keeping him company before he came back to fallabor to face the music.

at times, he wished he didn't come back.

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