IT'S ALL CLEAR NOW! 3: The revenge(Proton)

[ardos]

It was night in Goldenrod. Most people were out and about by now, enjoying the night life and such, exploring the city, all those whimsical activities tourists do. Yet this story takes place in the under belly of the city, where crime is the only trend and black markets are more common than Walmarts in Texas. What is a Texas? I don't know, why don't you ask those teachers that don't seem to exist in the pokemon world.

Here in the narrow underground hall, lay a mysterious man running a mysterious stand towards the left of the hall, crammed between an ammo stand and a powder Cubone drug stand. There was a sign over the stand, which read "Tips", and the man running the stand was a shifty being with blue hair and a creepy smile. Beside, him, was his trusty Bouffalant, way better than that damn Tauros he had a while back. Oh how he loved his Bouffalant, it meant so much to him now. It would be a horrible shame if anything were to happen to it....at all....at any time...

At one point, someone got curious and approached Ardos' stand with two of his friends. He was a burly, wearing tight leather jeans and a black tank top. The thug scratched his bald head as he approached the stand and said, "So uh, what's this for?" Ardos' smile turned more toothy, "I give tips good sir." "For how much?" asked the thug. Ardos' smile grew larger, "I give it ahead of time, and charge depending on your reaction." The thug scratched his chin and looked back to his buddies. Both nodded for him to try it. How could it hurt? The thug soon shrugged and nodded as well. Ardos looked to his Bouffalant, who snorted with devious happiness. He then leaned in close to his customer and said, "Your outfit is horrid, you should dunk it in acid so that you can never wear it again. How dare you wear those pants when you are obviously so damn fat. My God man, how could you live with all those rolls that are exposed by that tank top. You should be ashamed of yourself, you bloody shit head. I hope your eyes suddenly fly out of your head so that you can see what an ass you are. You're pathetic fashion style is only overshadowed by that hair do of yours which was obviously created due to a birth defect created by your Mother and Father committing incest. I bet you didn't know they were related. They are cousins, you should kill them and then kill yourself....just thought you should know."

The men looked at Ardos for a long while, the middle thug slowly growing red with rage. After a moment, Ardos said, "That will be 1,000,000 poke please." The bald thug slammed his fist on the stand and cried, "I rather bash your face in." He didn't get to though, as Ardos' Bouffalant put it's front hooves on the stand and bashed it's head upon the thug's. The thug crumpled to the ground, and his friends ran in fear soon after. Ardos chuckled, "This is fun, we should do this more often." The Bouffalant nodded.

[proton]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 402px; background-color: #121212; border-radius: 30 30 30 30px;] [STYLE=width: 360px; margin: 20 21 0 21px; height: 140px; border-radius: 30 30 0 0px; background-color: #303030; border-left: 2px solid #330000;][STYLE=width: 100px; height: 100px; border-radius: 30 0 0 0px; border: 10px solid #000000; margin: 10 10 10 10px; background-image: url(http://i238.photobucket.com/albums/ff96/missmanicdysfunction/Proton%20Avatars/pro14.png); float: left;] [/style] [STYLE= width: 215px; float: right; margin: 35px 5px 10px 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 24px; line-height: 90%; text-align: justify; color: #8B8989;] Speak to me darling while you claw at the sky: alone and dying faster, faster[/style][/style][STYLE= width: 344px; margin: 15px 21 0 21px; background-color: #303030; padding: 7 7 6 9px; border-left: 2px solid #330000; font-family: Verdana; color: #8B8989; font-size: 11px; text-align: justify;]Remember in Earthbound (or was it Earthbound Zero) where there were tip houses whenever you got stuck? They cost a ridiculous amount of money, especially early on, and you could always go to Starman.net to get a walkthrough when you were really stuck. But either way, Proton found himself wanting one of those tip houses now. He'd received a note with indecipherable handwriting, and he had no idea what to think of it. Also he needed an Escape Mouse, because he wasn't sure where the exit to this place was. Figures that the one time Stalkereon would be helpful, the Umbreon was nowhere to be found. Where did that thing go, anyway? And then, suddenly, "TIPS." Proton's green eyes lit up and he picked up his pace, strutting over with a grin. And then he recognized the freak behind the counter. Blue hair. Sunglasses. A creepy smile. A fondness for cows. Suddenly, there was rage as he went over, flipped the stand, and crossed his arms. "YOU." He crossed his arms. "You SHOT MY HAT." He was wearing a new cabby hat now, and looking rather angry. "I am going to HAVE MY REVENGE." And with that, he pulled a Pokeball off his belt. BOOM, a Mightyena appeared, growling at the Buffafro. "Shnookums, Crunch!" The Mightyena then leaped forward, aiming a Crunch at Ardos. That Bouffalant better move fast! [/style] [STYLE=width: 350px; margin: 15 21 20 21px; background-color: #303030; color: #8B8989; border-radius: 0 0 30 30px; padding: 5 4 10 6px; border-left: 2px solid #330000; text-align: center; height: 25px; overflow: auto;]† Ardos † Terrible Ride † I am a laughing man. † [/style]

Shade † of BTN

[ardos]

Ardos tapped his fingers as he waited for another client. He didn't bother to move the unconscious man as Ardos found him to be a rather fine door mat. Oh, if only Ardos had a door. Ah, but then came...THAT guy. Yep, that one bastard who killed his Tauros was blustering over to Ardos all angry like. Hey, maybe he needed a tip. Oh, Ardos had plenty of tips for this clown.

"Can I interest you in a tip sir?" Ardos said as the man came within ear shot. Instead of business though, he got his stand flipped followed by yelling from the man. Ardos put a hand on the side of his Bouffalant as it began huff and puffing, desperately wanting to bash this guy's head in. Yet, Ardos did not want any blood today. He had just cleaned his suit. He just smiled and nodded as the man vowed his revenge. Ardos replied, "Your hat is a disgrace to hats everywhere. It deserved what it got. That'll be 2,000,000 poke please."

Then came the Mightyena. So that's his intentions eh? Well Ardos can play that game too. He removed his hand from his Bouffalant's side, cue it to take action. The mighty yak buffalo...thing jumped in front of it's master, raised it's head up high, and attempted a mighty Headbutt directed at it's foe. Oh I hope the Mightyena doesn't receive head trauma if it gets hit directly by rock hard skull of a Bouffalant....also someone should seriously check on that one guy, he's still down there.

[proton]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 402px; background-color: #121212; border-radius: 30 30 30 30px;] [STYLE=width: 360px; margin: 20 21 0 21px; height: 140px; border-radius: 30 30 0 0px; background-color: #303030; border-left: 2px solid #330000;][STYLE=width: 100px; height: 100px; border-radius: 30 0 0 0px; border: 10px solid #000000; margin: 10 10 10 10px; background-image: url(http://i238.photobucket.com/albums/ff96/missmanicdysfunction/Proton%20Avatars/pro14.png); float: left;] [/style] [STYLE= width: 215px; float: right; margin: 35px 5px 10px 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 24px; line-height: 90%; text-align: justify; color: #8B8989;] Speak to me darling while you claw at the sky: alone and dying faster, faster[/style][/style][STYLE= width: 344px; margin: 15px 21 0 21px; background-color: #303030; padding: 7 7 6 9px; border-left: 2px solid #330000; font-family: Verdana; color: #8B8989; font-size: 11px; text-align: justify;]Oh. No. You. Didn't!!! Remember that guy that's passed out down there? Yeah, Proton decided that it'd be a good idea to pick the guy up and chuck him at Ardos's big fat stupid ugly lame-ass head. Was "Chuck Humans" even a legal move in the League? Fuck and no, but screw the rules, Proton had GREEN HAIR, which is apparently an exemption from everything these days. As for poor Shnookums, the Mightyena was headbutted and tossed aside like a sack of potatoes. That hard-headed Bouffalant was certainly going to be a bother. The Mightyena growled, and Proton knew instantly what to do. He took out a gun--yes, a normal gun--and shot that Mightyena in the face. The wolf barely had time to react before it was a faceless creature flailing at the sky and spraying blood everywhere. Proton sneered, then turned the gun on Ardos. "Oh keep on talking. Whoever told you that you had talent as a comedian was lying! You make puns that don't even make sense! You didn't even take a potshot at the fact that I was using a Route-One, no-stats, horribly overrated Pokemon often used by furries and wolfaboos! Dear god, your jokes make me want to punch your mother--" Oh wait, that Bouffalant. He needed something for that. With a snort, he sent out his Mandibuzz. The giant vulture stared at the Bouffalant, then turned her head back to Proton. "Do something, I don't care what." Vulture complied by whipping her hair back and forth, which was basically a Bone Rush, Mandibuzz style. Instead of shooting Ardos and ending it right there, though, Proton picked up his dead Mightyena and chucked it at Ardos's head. "I won't make this QUICK!" he snarled. Jeez, Proton had a thing for throwing dead or unconscious things, didn't he? [/style] [STYLE=width: 350px; margin: 15 21 20 21px; background-color: #303030; color: #8B8989; border-radius: 0 0 30 30px; padding: 5 4 10 6px; border-left: 2px solid #330000; text-align: center; height: 25px; overflow: auto;]† Ardos † Terrible Ride † I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth... † [/style]

Shade † of BTN

[ardos]

Ardos' smile grew even larger when Proton threw the poor person who was knocked out on the floor. Mostly because it just looked so darn silly. Naturally, Bouffalant just stood up on it's hind legs and pounded the body to the ground as it went back down. So now when that guy wakes up he'll have three broken ribs too, wonderful.

By now the thugs and goons in the tunnel were starting to run off in different directions, abandoning their stands. Mostly because Proton just shot his Mightyena and caused blood to spray everywhere. Ardos didn't flinch at all as a few bits of blood landed on his face. By now such a sensation was like a light rain to him. His Bouffalant however roared and thrashed, not enjoying the blood bath at all. This was the one thing Ardos didn't like about his dear little Bouffalant, it was kind of a sissy when it came to messes.

Ardos then just listened to Proton as he rambled about how unfunny he was. Ardos just smiled in return and when he finished, he said in a flat tone, "Your reaction...it amuses me." He then did the completely unnecessary action of licking a bit of blood away near his lower lip. Oh that Ardos, such a weirdo.

However, his reaction was not amusing enough to make Ardos keep interest. He was ready to go now, but then that sly Proton threw out his Mandibuzz and that just pissed him off. So right after that Ardos pulled out another pokeball of his own. From this pokeball, he released his soul brotha, Alakazam, right behind his Bouffalant. Alakazam wasn't there to fight though, he rarely ever was. He was there, to be the manliest Alakasam of them all.

Indeed, when Mandibuzz did the dreaded whipping of the hair, Bouffalant jumped out of the way, and Alakazam closed it's eyes. This was what Ardos liked to call an ALAKAZAM MEATSHIELD. That brave, brave Alakazam took each of the Bone rushes like a man and after the attackw as done, it crumpled to the ground, fainted. At the same time, Ardos sidestepped the mightyena, which just put more blood on his coat from the impact. There was also the case of his Bouffalant which, which bashed through the drug stand when it got out of the way, causing Cubone bone club dust to go everywhere.

Unfortunately, his accidentally kind of sort of maybe snorted in some falling dust with it's heavy breathing. By the time Ardos withdrew his Alakazam and gave Proton the finger, Bouffalant was on mars. Everything became oddly colored, and the shapes around it started twitching and morphing. This strange turn of events obviously made it upset, so it just started bucking around and roaring, and eventually charged toward Proton thinking he was a giant hamburger....Bouffalants don't like hamburgers.

[proton]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 402px; background-color: #121212; border-radius: 30 30 30 30px;] [STYLE=width: 360px; margin: 20 21 0 21px; height: 140px; border-radius: 30 30 0 0px; background-color: #303030; border-left: 2px solid #330000;][STYLE=width: 100px; height: 100px; border-radius: 30 0 0 0px; border: 10px solid #000000; margin: 10 10 10 10px; background-image: url(http://i238.photobucket.com/albums/ff96/missmanicdysfunction/Proton%20Avatars/pro14.png); float: left;] [/style] [STYLE= width: 215px; float: right; margin: 35px 5px 10px 0px; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 24px; line-height: 90%; text-align: justify; color: #8B8989;] Speak to me darling while you claw at the sky: alone and dying faster, faster[/style][/style][STYLE= width: 344px; margin: 15px 21 0 21px; background-color: #303030; padding: 7 7 6 9px; border-left: 2px solid #330000; font-family: Verdana; color: #8B8989; font-size: 11px; text-align: justify;]Ke$ha Vulture was not pleased at not hitting the Bouffalant. But taking down a pesky Alakazam was okay. And hey, here was her chance to take down the Bouffalant! With a shriek of defiance, she charged forward, straight at the Bouffalant-- And ended up running into his legs, getting trampled under his hooves, and getting a hoof through her skull. There was no way she would ever manage to recover from that. It was about then that Proton, too, was hit with the Bouffafro's head and sent flying. Proton hit the ground, winced, and then stood up, painfully. "God... fucking... DAMMIT!" Was Ardos trying to get away? Fuck and no. Time to bring out the heavy hitter: Squiggles the Reuniclus. "Squiggles, Psyshock!" For once doing something other than scream, Proton then turned to Ardos and pulled out a-- ...Nail gun. "Bitch, you ain't going nowhere. I will avenge my goddamn hat." Oh yeah, Squiggles jiggled around and then used Psyshock on the Bouffafro. Ouch. [/style] [STYLE=width: 350px; margin: 15 21 20 21px; background-color: #303030; color: #8B8989; border-radius: 0 0 30 30px; padding: 5 4 10 6px; border-left: 2px solid #330000; text-align: center; height: 25px; overflow: auto;]† Ardos † Terrible Ride † I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth... † [/style]

Shade † of BTN

[ardos]

Ardos laughed his ass off when Proton got hit by his Bouffalant. One should note that Ardos' laugh sounds like a metal pole being eaten by a monster chalkboard while it also devoured the souls of a hundred screaming bulls. In other words, it was pretty damn scary. When he was done with his laugh, Ardos took this as an opportunity to make a hasty retreat. He pulled out Bouffalant's pokeball and prepared to withdraw it when Proton summoned a new pokemon to the fray and pointed a nail gun at Ardos.

Bouffalant was still tripping out to the right of Ardos, kicking and roaring as all sorts of nightmarish images flooded it's eyesockets. It desperately thrashed to get rid of the strange monsters that surrounded it, but with every thrash they seemed to wrap their large evil hands around it more and more. Then came the attack. A mysterious and unknown attack that blew Bouffalant out of the grip of the monsters...but it also made it insane with fury. It looked in the direction of attack to see a large green monster with massive arms. With all the rage it could muster, Bouffalant charged at the monster at top speed and attempted to turn it into jelly upon the wall.

Strange thing Cubone bone dust, not only did it cause intense illusions but it also shut down the part of the nerves that causes feeling, including pain. The damage was still there, but it wouldn't be until after the effects wear off that Bouffalant will realize the attack made a big check mark burn on it's side. eventually the body will giveway if enough attacks are put upon the user of the drug, but the user just won't realize how it happened because they can feel no pain. Enough about that though, what about Ardos?

Ah yes, Ardos had a nail gun pointed at him. This guy may have gotten on Ardos' nerves, but he had to admit, Proton had a fine test in weaponry. Ardos decided to show Proton his own weapon, a silenced pistol. The same pistol that killed his Raticate and his hat. In a flash, The gun came out in a flash of motion, followed by a single shot aimed at Proton's...hat. Now it was the gun that killed two of his hats. Of course Ardos laughed a bit before taking a board from the ground and throwing it at Proton's fat head.

[proton]

And then Proton pulled a bomb out of his underpants and shoved a bomb down buffafro's throat and it exploded and bouffalant guts went everywhere.

...Yes I was serious about this post.


...OK FINE. Proton's Reuniclus Psyshocked again and jellywoobed out of the way. As for Proton, he found his hat being flown off. He snarled, then unleashed a barrage of Nailgun shots straight at Ardos. "Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you--"

BAM, BOARD TO THE FACE.

[ardos]

((Satisfied))

When Ardos saw his bouffalant explode, he was mildly upset (as seen by his left eye twitching slightly behind his sunglasses). "What a card you are." Ardos said to Proton as his smile grew a bit wider. He wanted to monologue in an evil fashion but he was forced to be silent as Proton shot nails at him. Ardos kicked up another board and blocked most of the nails....I say almost because two landed right into the hand holding the board at the very end of the barrage.

Ardos shook from the sudden pain and tried to drop the board, only now it was kind of nailed to his hand. He chuckled nervously as he lowered his arm and said, "I think that's enough for today." With that, Ardos pulled out a smoke ball with his free hand and threw it as hard as he could at Proton's face. Whatever it hits will cause the smokeball to go off and when the smoke clears, Ardos will not be there.

((Till next time kiddies. Ardos out.))