[r] wheather

[daigo]

"Get off me."

The piece of toast grumbles into the earth and squirms underneath the massive weight of the elephant. It growls, it snaps, but fate is cruel, for it is not gifted with anything but baked flour and yeast, perhaps a dash of wheatgerm. It yells a second time with its muffled voice.

"Your ass stinks, pachyderm."

[henri2]

At first, the elephant doesn't hear the piece of toast. He is too busy moping over the fact he forgot to take the bins out last night. This is the seventh time it's happened, and some unidentifable liquid is starting to burn it's way through the plastic of the bin.

Oh well. If there's any good from that, it's that he can check the bins for leftover scrap food again. (Stupid kids keep throwing away perfectly good and edible scraps). As he stands up to make his way to the bin he hears one word from below him.

"... pachyderm."

"Oh!" The elephant is surprised. Who knew that a piece of toast could talk! "Oh I say!"

And that's all the elephant is able to say, such is the shock of discovering that pieces of toast can talk.

[daigo]

It feels rather queasy as soon as the weight is lifted off its shoulders. It still feels the pain from before, and in a toastily-testy manner, its gaze falls on the shocked elephant. "You!' it accuses, "You were sitting on me all along, and it hurts, hurts, hurts!"

Its wheaty eyes focus on the elephant. The brute had been suffocating it - it was quite close to running out of breath. It would then no longer be fluffy and soft - oh, the horror of it all! It is rather appalled at the thought, and decides to make its feelings known.

"Your actions are like poking a sharp finger into the dough of my soul."

[henri2]

Oh dear. Well, that won't do. The piece of toast is quite angry at him. It's face is as red as toast can get without the aid of jam. (Mmmm.... Jam...)

The first thing the elephant ought to do is apologise. After all, if the toast had bones or internal organs, they would surely be completely crushed. But instead, all the elephant manages to say is:

"I thought only gluten free products had souls." Only a rumour overheard in passing, of course. The only confirmed piece of food to not have a soul was anything with ginger in it, and this piece of toast didn't look like he was made of gingerbread.

"Oh you're simply exaggerating. Being sat on isn't that painful. Why, if you sat on me, I wouldn't complain at all."

[daigo]

"Well, I ... my soul, dear pachyderm, is made out of dough! You may not be able to see it, but it is only because you have crushed it in your folly."

The piece of toast squirms.

"Oh, how it hurts! How shall I sit on you now, if I am crushed and in pain on the ground? How am I supposed to move, when I can't!"

[henri2]

The piece of toast is making such a fuss over nothing really. The elephant frowns - it doesn't seem to be much of a soul if it gets crushed so easily. But the more the toast squirms, the sorrier the elephant feels for it. It complains that it cannot move, and it is all the elephant's fault!

"Oh dear, well, let me help you." The elephant thinks it's being careful in picking the toast up with it's trunk, but when is being picked up by an elephant's trunk ever comfortable? Besides, the toast is rather squishy...

"Where do you want to move to?"

[daigo]

The toast insists that it is fine in its humble voice, but the elephant seems to have a mind of its own. Oh dear, thinks the piece of toast to itself as it is lifted into the air.

"W-Well, pachyderm," it says, not entirely willing to admit its fear of heights - the jump from the toaster was quite enough, thank you - "A little less squeeze on me, for starters. How about placing me on your back so I can have a better view of the lands below?"

It coughs to itself, trying to pass it off as being held to tightly, when in fact, it is afraid of the heights it would soon face.

[henri2]

There it is. That strange word again. "Pachy-whatsit." Possibly Toastenese for "Thank you."

It is just as well the elephant has big ears (well, duh) otherwise it might not have been able to hear the piece of toast speak at all. But the elephant did manage to hear. Just. The toast wanted to sit on it's back so it can get "a better view". The elephant obliges, saying

"You know, if you want to sit on me you can just ask. I really don't mind." Food didn't poop. Unlike the birds.

Those horrible, self-entitled birds.

[daigo]

"W-Well, can you put me down? Right now, please?"

It did not enjoy being suspended in mid-air, still in the grasp of the elephant.