the doubting one [shamees]

[renae]

It was late, and Celeste was either out or asleep. Renae didn't know, didn't much care either. She'd set up shop in the woman's living room (sometimes she wondered if Celeste even remembered that she lived here), which meant that Renae had a desk and a computer. Okay, there was also the television that she kept on the news channel--any news channel, she cycled through them all and listened between the lines to weed through the propaganda from both factions--as she stared impassively at her computer screen.

She had a word processor open, and there was one word on the screen.

The

She hit backspace thrice and typed again.

Now

Maybe that was better. She wasn't sure. She liked the sound of it though. It was very present.

The incessant sound of news anchors and their saccharine voices--prattling pitch perfect pronunciation--hurt her skull. She listened anyway, because she needed to know the truth. What truth? There were only words, hollow and malleable, bent to the whim of anyone with the skill to shape them. She'd done it herself; she was an expert. She'd know.

Renae left the television on, it was a wonder that she even turned it off to sleep, but she left for the kitchen. It was quieter there, the sound of Nimbasa News faint and far away. Moving away didn't really help her any. Renae could walk away from the television set, but she couldn't walk away from reality.

There wasn't anything in the refrigerator. (When was the last time she had a proper meal? Last night, maybe. Fish and chips with the beer at some dive bar. Was that even last night? Last night was the release of the Prerequisite's weekend issue, full of political cartoons and stock market tables--Shamees in a scandal, arms companies on the rise, no news was ever new. Renae remembered the paper; she didn't remember what she ate.)

On the upside, Renae found a package of dried tofu in the cupboards, as well as a bottle of fresh water. It wasn't dinner, but it'll do.

She returned to the living room, her room now, and raised an eyebrow.

A guest. Well, a guest of a guest--she was one herself. That made the president twice separated from the master of the house, but Celeste was a law-abiding Lux citizen anyhow.

"Mr. President," she said, a greeting although not quite a proper hello. She didn't reach for her stash of pokeballs, only sat down at her desk again, reclining back on the swiveling desk chair rather than leaning forward over the keys. "So good of you to visit."

[/blockquote][/blockquote][/size][/justify][/font]

[tantan]

[atrb=border,0,bTable][atrb=valign,top][style=font-size:100px; line-height: 80px;]❝[/style]

[style=text-align: justify; padding: 0 10; margin: 0 10; border-left: 1px dashed #cccccc;border-right: 1px dashed #cccccc; font-size: 12px; font-family: arial;][style=line-height: 10px; width: 100px; border-bottom: 1px dashed #ccc; float: right; margin-left: 7px;text-align: center; font-size: 10px; margin-top: 2px;][style=margin-top: 5px; padding: 1 0 3 0; border-top: 1px dashed #ccc]words: 394 muse: ben underwood[/style][/style]As she arrived, an environmental commercial was playing on the television. Dramatic footfalls on a burnt land coughed up dusts in the air. The feet stopped and the camera zoomed out to reveal a scourged wasteland that was once the forest of a beautiful mountain. Scraps of metals and empty shells covered in dirt littered around. There were holes of varying depths, signs of mines and bombing that wrecked the field. Single keyboard notes entered one by one until a string of them created a melancholic tune. The man proceeded to walk, his back turned to the camera but his distinguishable trait was displayed openly as a silver white braid. A red scarf dyed halfway through in yellow rays, the cloth changing to yellow at the end, trailed after him from his neck. "Good evening, Renae." First name basis was out already. Shamees, the Lux President, didn't try pretending before her. Like Balendin, she was a...an acquaintance he could meet eye to eye with. But Shamees couldn't control everything to meet her satisfaction. She deserted Lux and had since remained quiet under her pseudonym as a propagandist and recently actively took part in the war. Balendin would have probably done the same considering the corruption within Lux but Shamees had no doubt he would rather die than choose to side with Nox. Renae was more open-minded than that - sadly. "Hopefully you're not too busy right now." He turned his head to her, hands folded on his lap and back straightened but not touching the couch. "We don't really have much time. You especially don't." The same voice came right out of the television but it was softer, more timid, and spirited. "The loss of life is not strictly human or Pokemon. When lands are cleaned of trees and made infertile, there is death. We have the power to bring life back. It needs time, it needs effort, it needs resources - but most of all, it needs you." Shamees smiled demurely in the screen, a smile completely non-existent and untraceable in the Shamees seated on the couch right now. He tossed her a plastic-wrapped bread he found in her refrigerator that he originally intended to take out. "It should still be safe." The expiration written was today. Shamees turned his attention back in the commercial, now talking about a hair shampoo advertisement. NOTES ~[/style]

[atrb=valign,bottom][style=font-size:100px; line-height: 60px;]❞[/style]

[renae]

"So terribly far from the Indigo Plateau, aren't you, sir?" she said, keeping her formalities. There was hope for him yet--there was always hope--and she would address Shamees Ferrer as president until he brought the harmony she wanted. Proper address wasn't the same as politeness though. "I can make time for you, that's quite easy a request to grant. Making peace though, that's much harder, and I do seem to remember asking that of you. How've you been going about that lately?"

She fell silent as the commercial finished. It was a charming message, but propaganda is as propaganda does. Everyone should join the war effort, shouldn't they? Renae would rather everyone join a peace effort--it'd at least be properly named as something that actually took effort. The thing about war is that the easiest thing you could do in it is die.

"Thanks." Renae caught the bread. Food--excellent. Neatly, she undid the plastic wrap, tearing it with her modestly manicured nails, and nibbled at it. He was right, definitely edible and plenty good, although it likely wouldn't have remained good for much longer.

"I hear Hoenn will be in ashes soon. Tell me, are you proud? Your generals will tell you you're fighting a fine war, and they tell it true. It is a fine war, all these clever battles and self-made heroes. If any of us live long enough to have grandchildren, they'll be so terribly, obnoxiously proud of this glory. For now, we suffer. But what am I wasting my breath for? You know more than I do about suffering."

She sighed. It wasn't the hunger that made her cruel, she was always cruel, but there was a time and a place. This wasn't it. "I don't apologize, but I do you wrong. I'll say this much: I look forward to seeing Verdanturf rebuilt and peace restored. My hopes aren't high, but all the same, don't let me down."

Renae swallowed another bite of bread, falling silent for a moment because she didn't speak while chewed. It was a brief respite. "Your time is as limited as mine. You're surrounded by glory-hunters and power-seekers. The war has become Lux's culture, its victories are its pride and accomplishments. Lux changes, and unless you change with it, it will abandon you."

[/color] Renae's face contorted into an expression caught between a scowl and a sneer; it suited her in the way that fangs suited snakes. "On that note, why on earth did you promote Cromwell of all people?"[/color]

notes yeah she talks a lot.[/blockquote][/blockquote][/size][/justify][/font]

[tantan]

[atrb=border,0,bTable][atrb=valign,top][style=font-size:100px; line-height: 80px;]❝[/style]

[style=text-align: justify; padding: 0 10; margin: 0 10; border-left: 1px dashed #cccccc;border-right: 1px dashed #cccccc; font-size: 12px; font-family: arial;][style=line-height: 10px; width: 100px; border-bottom: 1px dashed #ccc; float: right; margin-left: 7px;text-align: center; font-size: 10px; margin-top: 2px;][style=margin-top: 5px; padding: 1 0 3 0; border-top: 1px dashed #ccc]words: 454 muse: waking up from spilled water[/style][/style]Face front, his attention seemed to be elsewhere. Not on Renae and not on the commercial but somewhere farther; like he was seated miles away, listening silently for distant echoes. Two years ago - maybe even longer than that - when tension was at the peak between the league and the people, there was more unrest within the Pokemon League. The league had their lips sealed of their own internal conflicts with Renae being one of the instigators. She, along with Balendin and the others, were the ones that put Shamees in his position now. His memory of the entire event was clear, and so was his conversation with Renae. She did entrust him to bring peace with his power but he made no promises. Regardless, everything that he'd done and was doing was not in any way of service to Renae and the founders; was not a contract of any sort to them. Not in the way they were thinking. It just so happened that Shamees' job coincided with what they wanted him to do. He wasn't doing a splendid job; not in Renae's eyes, judging by her choice of words. But those words were empty to Shamees because he had no obligation to her. She believed in him. Her faith meant nothing to him. At that time, he needed Renae's support and Shamees played it out with a deceit. That moment was gone now. There was no way Renae could take back her words about Shamees. Her role had lost value to Lux but Shamees didn't want to let her go to waste. He was wiling to give her a chance. Oddly enough, she seemed to still believe - just why she did, Shamees had no idea - that Shamees had the purest intention for peace. He was certainly working on it because it was his job but Shamees didn't believe he was working on a realistic goal. He'd told no one of his personal perspective but Shamees believed there was never any chance for peace. They weren't just suffering now. Humans suffered everyday, ceaselessly trying to chase after "peace." It wasn't even from war that they suffer. War was but the congregation of all sins. Shamees glanced at her as she sighed. He was slightly perplexed why she was apologetic. What she said was true. What the many others said was probably true too. No one was responsible for the truth. It was all fated to be, after all. He decided to satisfy her one question at least. "Xander works well so I gave him a promotion." As simple as that but he knew why Renae reacted that way. His answer was even more simpler. "I don't fear him, not anyone." NOTES Good, because Shamees doesn't talk. [/style]

[atrb=valign,bottom][style=font-size:100px; line-height: 60px;]❞[/style]

[renae]

He ignored her questions. Fine, his right to silence, she supposed. A pity that his people were stripped of their right to silence by the sentinels. They were stripped of their right to speech too, alas. She'd approved of the sentinels' work at first, and Renae could compromise on just how far they could go to preserve the peace, but there was a line in the sand somewhere. She'd been spared the duty of finding where exactly it lied because Lux had already gone miles and miles beyond it.

The one Shamees did answer made her laugh. It was a humorless sound.

"It's not about fear. Your fear in particular is irrelevant--always irrelevant, you have enough council and counsel both to feel your fear for you," she said, her voice a staccato drill over the sounds of her words, each enunciated in perfect clarity. "It's about the faction. It's about doing right by the world. When you look at the world, Mr. President, your challenge is not Nox, it's not the war, it's not the violence, the bloodshed, the inequality--it's none of that."

She faced him now, and her teeth flashed, but it couldn't be called a smile. "Your challenge is becoming more than everything that came before you. It's the past that's fallen behind you, the League we took over and days gone by. Look at history, for we will all become history, and nothing matters more than the significance of this generation. Time marches onward; society grows, develops. Have you seen the ruins of Sinnoh? You're from there, surely you have. There are civilizations ancient that we have abandoned. Lux should not be one of them, but Cromwell will make our legacy empty."

Was she lecturing him? Maybe. Perhaps she meant to lecture herself. She sighed.

"We promoted you for obedience, not competence. You would've been wiser to do the same. Out of your entire faction, a philosophical and political party with an army that holds influence over all the pokemon world, only Xander works well? You have countless diligent soldiers, de Luca was one of them, well done. She admires you. Perhaps she'll craft a better world in your name. Cromwell? He'll craft a world--any world, maybe--in his own name. I'd bet you good money on that, but I have no interest in gambling when the results are rigged."

[/size]

[tantan]

[atrb=border,0,bTable][atrb=valign,top][style=font-size:100px; line-height: 80px;]❝[/style]

[style=text-align: justify; padding: 0 10; margin: 0 10; border-left: 1px dashed #cccccc;border-right: 1px dashed #cccccc; font-size: 12px; font-family: arial;][style=line-height: 10px; width: 100px; border-bottom: 1px dashed #ccc; float: right; margin-left: 7px;text-align: center; font-size: 10px; margin-top: 2px;][style=margin-top: 5px; padding: 1 0 3 0; border-top: 1px dashed #ccc]words: 282 muse: A+[/style][/style]She was right. He was known for an obedience that didn't distinguish between sin and virtue. That was how he was taught, that was how Shamees was supposed to operate. Even then, hearing the truth out of Renae's mouth made his toes curl inside his shoes. He couldn't stop people from aggravating him but he could keep them from reading his expression. He was only a submissive dog only because he let himself be one. Renae could go on thinking that Shamees was doing her wrong for not living up to her expectations but that was her damn fault for choosing him. He'd actually been faithful to their cause and he was going to run things the way he saw was fitting. He didn't need Renae reminding him the reason behind his selection, not from a coward like her who, upon seeing her grand plan fall apart, fled to the other side to feed upon the hearts of victims and manipulate them into cleaning her mess. He almost snorted. How could she even think there were "good" people left in Lux when she abandoned the faction because there weren't many left? If she really believed what she was saying to him, she would have stayed in Lux and be of actual help. "Xander does not scare me," he said again. "Xander's just a dreamer. He'll do nothing that threatens Lux's stability while I'm around." He took this chance to swing the conversation to his favor. He didn't come here just to have a chat. "And Thalia's..." Pink. "...okay. You're that concerned? If you wanted to have things your way, you should have stayed in Lux and we would have had better communication." NOTES Five lines!!!! [/style]

[atrb=valign,bottom][style=font-size:100px; line-height: 60px;]❞[/style]

[renae]

[style=width: 480px; height: 20px; background-color: #b9b9bb; border-bottom: 3px solid #0c0428;][/style]

[atrb=background,http://i.imgur.com/NORyO.png][atrb=width,480][atrb=height,50]

[style=width: 480px; background-color: #b9b9bb; border-top: 3px solid #0c0428;][style=width: 380px; border-left: 6.5px double #0c0428; padding-left: 10px; padding-top: 10px; padding-right: 15px; padding-bottom: 20px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-size: 9.5px; letter-spacing: 1px; margin-left: 60px; color: #62526c;]"My way," she said softly, "is peace. It is harmony and cooperation, a togetherness in our own common humanity to protect us against those who would do us harm. Common humanity, Mr. President. Lux's purpose is to defend; it was meant to be a guardian, one that protects the people, all the people. It is not supposed to protect only half the people or only the people who agree. Lux should be a shepherd, but it should turn its people into mindless sheep." Renae paused to eat, this time taking generous bites rather than small nibbles. The president's presence didn't bother her, though she did wonder why exactly he was here. She was content to ignore him for a while. Food first; she didn't want to starve to death here. While she ate, she grabbed the remote control and switched to a local channel, one less inclined to favor Lux's opinions. She took a gulp of water and continued, at last. "Of course ideas develop and grow into new, complex things--children grow up. They learn to question you; they learn to rebel. When you write of dreams, you have no claim to your writing; dreams belong to everybody. It's inevitable, and it's beautiful, but in this case, the result is only ashes and blood. I expected people to get carried away from the start--achieving a dream is the most admirable objective, after all--but now that same dream tears the world apart. Quite the opposite of what I'd hoped. You can't seriously have expected me to continue my support of such endeavors, but as I said, you're doing quite fine." She watched him in case he showed a reaction, more curious than anything else. "You have a coterie of advisers. Surely one of them's a suitable replacement for me; I shouldn't think that you'd need to seek my opinion on anything ever again, yet here you stand. Startling, really, and a bit rude. You should've called ahead. We may be on opposite sides of the war now, but there is still such thing as courtesy. I know I never show it, but people would expect you to. People always have a lot of expectations of you, hm? Heavy is the crown." As if she'd never paused the conversation to eat, nor gone on a tangent, Renae picked up where he last left off. She kept her tone light and conversation because she was no extremist in the end, no madman, zealot, or crusader. She could believe without belief blinding her; Renae was beginning to think that was a rarer trait than she'd once assumed. "My number hasn't changed, you can call me. Besides that, I stay where I have always lived when I declined to travel--on Cel's couch. Communication is as simple as it always has been. The only difference is that now I'm less likely to throw a temper tantrum in person when your laws upset me. Instead, I throw guerilla armies. I prefer this. Lux ignores me; Lux censors me. With Lux, I have neither willing audience nor willing publisher, not unless my words are not my own. So, perhaps you're right, you would have better communication had I remained loyal. Unfortunately, that communication would've been nothing but trubbish. It would benefit neither of us, so this, this is much better."[/style][/style]

[style=width: 480px; height: 20px; background-color: #b9b9bb; border-bottom: 3px solid #0c0428;][/style]

[atrb=background,http://i.imgur.com/NORyO.png][atrb=width,480][atrb=height,30]

[tantan]

[atrb=border,0,bTable][atrb=valign,top][style=font-size:100px; line-height: 80px;]❝[/style]

[style=text-align: justify; padding: 0 10; margin: 0 10; border-left: 1px dashed #cccccc;border-right: 1px dashed #cccccc; font-size: 12px; font-family: arial;][style=line-height: 10px; width: 100px; border-bottom: 1px dashed #ccc; float: right; margin-left: 7px;text-align: center; font-size: 10px; margin-top: 2px;][style=margin-top: 5px; padding: 1 0 3 0; border-top: 1px dashed #ccc]words: 695 muse: A+[/style][/style]It was almost disheartening to listen to Renae go on about her ideal. They'd been through this before. No matter how sweet and saintly she spelled it out with her facile tongue, history - Lux's history - showed that it was all theory. All a dream. All a contradiction. The League reached out to all regions and welcomed them to a world of order and harmony, which several parties refused. They made more than one attempts to convince them otherwise but it only did to offend them. Logically, Lux stopped and began its discriminating segregation between supporters and non-supporters, for who would want to do good to those that slanders him? What purpose was there to serve an abusive king? How could a servant protect others when he himself was harmed? Shamees continued starring at the television. Was Renae under the impression the path of martyrdom had been the wisest choice? That Lux should have remained compassionate to all people, giving them their promised safeguarding while the ingrates rebelled before their doors? Divine beings only answered to prayers sent to them. Not even gods chose to be martyrs. Only those that had faith in them received blessings while the others, smitten. What good god would let harm fall upon his believers because he sympathized with the offenders? Punishment was all in due to those that tried to strike. Those that lash out at the heavens to escape its weave receive tribulation that scars their descendants forever. Shamees, for one, knows that from personal experience. His existence now is proof of that. For these dreams Renae speak of greatly have led to the demise of so many. He'd seen them shine. He'd seen them die. These dreams that seem to be so full of light while behind glass displays, ooze with blood when their fragile shells were touched by human hands. He'd seen them explode, blinding his eyes, his ears, his innocence. How was this beautiful? It was because people had access to dreams that the world came to a ruin. This was their world, their only world. They dreamed because of how horrible and despicable it was. Renae got his hackles up. Briefly, it slipped in a crease in his forehead and in a twitch in his fingers. Quite an unpleasant surprise to hear from an intelligent woman like Renae such a confession that she expected none of this extreme to happen out of what she did. That was what they all said. It was a plan that went out of control. Nonchalant, uncaring, shrugging. They unknowingly put lives at stake and "oops" was the only thing they'd say. In short, Renae left because she was unhappy. He tried not to say anything. He tried to keep it all in. He tried to think only of what he had to do. His duty. His obligation. The mention of the council was enough to pull his mind back in the business. He chose not to comment once more, this time spiting Liang, Conan, Javan in his head just to relieve the tension building inside of him. The crown wasn't heavy. It smelled terrible because it was full of shit. Me. Me. Me. Me. That's all Shamees was starting to hear. He didn't want to go off-track. He was here to just get a yes or no from Renae. He wasn't her guidance counselor (although he did ask, he didn't expect to get this.) "Your presence would account to something,"

[/color] he pointed out. "I don't have much time. You don't have either,"[/color] he repeated. "You...should know why."[/color]

Renae left Lux and turned against them by supporting Nox. Had she just stayed low and out of the war, she would have been spared and sent to prison but she made sure her betrayal was known. She made it a point that she was against them.

Shamees wanted to give her one last chance to decide. He wasn't here to convince her. He found out that it was impossible in the first place. He was here for her final word.

"Are you returning to Lux?"[/color] Suddenly remembering how much Renae talked, he added, "...just a yes or no."[/color]


NOTES Shamees the pessimist. [/style][/td]

[td][atrb=valign,bottom][style=font-size:100px; line-height: 60px;]❞[/style][/td][/tr][/table][/center]

[renae]

This was why he'd trekked over to Unova and broke into Celeste's home? A vain hope. She didn't see why Shamees had bothered.

She laughed, the sound a light titter.

"No."

[tantan]

[atrb=border,0,bTable][atrb=valign,top][style=font-size:100px; line-height: 80px;]❝[/style]

[style=text-align: justify; padding: 0 10; margin: 0 10; border-left: 1px dashed #cccccc;border-right: 1px dashed #cccccc; font-size: 12px; font-family: arial;][style=line-height: 10px; width: 100px; border-bottom: 1px dashed #ccc; float: right; margin-left: 7px;text-align: center; font-size: 10px; margin-top: 2px;][style=margin-top: 5px; padding: 1 0 3 0; border-top: 1px dashed #ccc]words: 410 muse: A+[/style][/style]The weight on his chest went up to his eyes as they lower their gazes to the floor. The answer didn't come off as a surprise but he thought it appropriate if she sealed her own fate. This wasn't his decision. It was hers. There was nothing else for him to say. He closed his eyes. He smiled and let out a sigh. "I didn't expect you to be this disgusting." He then stood up and began walking ominously toward Renae. "You suffer from a greedy ideal no amount of lives could ever quench," he said quietly, a hand slowly moving to his back. "Even I think I'm a better person than you, Renae. You don't really deserve to live." Locking on Renae, his eyes flashed and seemed to open for the first time. There was no hatred in his voice, only a complete lack of it. It was firm, unyielding, and dangerous. He stopped a foot from her, one hand still behind his back. "Because your fairytales made people believe that rocks could be transmuted to gold. Your lies turned them to coal and you shoved them all down in the pits of Hell to burn. Those same coals you've abandoned fuel the hate in this world. In your search for peace, you've sowed the seeds of war."

[/b]

His eyes narrowed. If she thought she could somehow escape right before the grasp of a war veteran from a family of ancient fighters, she was wrong. Dead wrong. By no means was this going to be out of grudge but Shamees had no loyalties either. His employers were too arrogant until they learned things the hard way.

"Now, to me, you're nothing more than a delirious woman determined to spite this world because she could not face to spite herself more for the hateful crimes that she did."

His last words were barely a warning to what he did next. His arm moved in a blur, swinging out a gun that he fired at Renae. Not a gunshot resounded. There was not even any powder or impact that came out. Not a bullet either because what Shamees used was a harmless water gun squirting at Renae's face.

"It's stupid negotiating for a bread on its expiration date but I feel bad wasting food,"[/color] he said. He clearly wasn't talking about the bread Renae ate. "Welp, gotta go."

Shamees tossed to Renae the water gun and jumped out of the nearest window.

NOTES lol [/style][/td]

[td][atrb=valign,bottom][style=font-size:100px; line-height: 60px;]❞[/style][/td][/tr][/table][/center]