you can run, but you can't hide [Ruby]

[N]

It was night – of that much he was all too aware. The small campfire that he'd started earlier in the night had dwindled down to nothing while he'd slept, and the chill had crept back in, causing him to shiver. He might have asked Ember to set it alight once more, but the young chimchar was fast asleep in his lap, and N didn't quite have the heart to wake her just yet. Instead, he scooted further back into the warmth of Nadia's embrace. The Zoroark rested her head atop his in silent understanding. Soon they would need to move again, to run. It was tiring, all of this running, but N feared what would happen if he stopped before he reached the relative safety of Unova. Everyone was looking for him, he knew that much, and that was more than enough reason to keep on going.

He knew that it was his duty to turn back, to face the repercussions of what he had done. Some had been all too pleased by the ceasefire agreement, and they had told him as much, but others...He didn't like to think about that, or about any of it, really: the crowd watching his every action, his quavering voice as he spoke, the way his hand trembled when he signed his name in front of all of those onlookers. It had been a nightmare turned reality, but it had been the right thing to do, of that much he was certain. Nobody would win if the war continued. The humans participants were as exhausted as their pokemon companions, their friends and family, and his friends and family they were...he tried not to think about that either.

He fingered the pokeballs at his side, touching them one by one, as if to reassure himself that he was doing the right thing. So much had changed. He hated it, all of it. He knew, in theory, that his friends were safe within the little round balls, but he couldn't help but feel as though he was trapping them all the same, trapping them for their own safety, but trapping them nonetheless. Would they hate him for it when all of this was over? Were they already starting to hate him now?

Nadia nuzzled his cheek as if sensing the direction of his thought, a mother comforting a lost child, and if N was anything right now, it was lost. He wasn't sure where he was supposed to be, he only knew that he couldn't stay here, and he couldn't go back...not yet at any rate. He was adrift – lost, but thankfully not alone. He wasn't sure what he would do if his friends abandoned him now. They were all he had left now, all he'd ever had, really. They were his rocks, his hand holds in an ever shifting sea that threatened to sweep him away without a moment's notice, they were the people he was fighting for. He owned them that much...he owned them so much more than he could give them. Peace was just the tip of the iceberg, and he wasn't even sure if he could give them that. The ceasefire was holding, for now, but how long would it last? And the turmoil in the other regions raged on as though his actions in Johto had made a lick of difference in the course of the war as a whole. It was disheartening to say the least.

Ember stirred in her sleep, turning over onto her side as N looked on in brooding silence. How could he protect her, or any of them, when he was no longer sure he could protect himself, when he was on the run, afraid to face what he had done? All of those eye on him...all of those expectations, the weight of it had nearly killed him, and maybe it still would. They were bound to catch up with him eventually. He'd made a name for himself. He was a someone now, a champion in every sense of the word. He hated that too. If only he could go back to the days when nobody new his name, when it was just him, and Plasma, and an idea...but even that had just been a ruse. He'd been a pawn then too, as he was now. No, not now, now he was running, now he was his own piece, jumping himself across the board as fast as he could manage, until someone came to capture him.

“Am I doing the right thing?” he asked, the sound of his own voice making him wince as it broke the silence that had settled around them. He glanced at Nadia, seeking reassurance. She gave it, as she always did, and N breathed a sigh of relief, letting the weight drift from his shoulders, allowing himself to slump back against her warm body. He couldn't trust all of those strange men and women who had told him that he was doing the right thing, but he could trust Nadia.

He glanced down at the fire once more and sighed. He would have to get it re-lit soon, but not here, and that meant moving. Reluctantly, he ran a hand over Ember's back until she stirred. ”Is something wrong?”

Only everything. “No, but we need to keep moving. Another fire will draw too much attention.” And I'll freeze without one. At times like these, N was forced to realize the differences between them, and he hated that too. Life would have been so much simpler if he'd been born a pokemon. For the longest time, he'd thought he had been but, by and by, people had come along and shattered that dream as well. Hey shouldn't have. He didn't want to be a human. Even now, even knowing he could make a difference this way, he didn't want it.

Once N gathered up his meager possessions and they got moving again, fortune seemed to smile upon them. Nadia scouted ahead and returned with news of a cave. They could build a fire there without worrying about attracting any unwanted visitors. It was the best news N had heard in a while. Only, when he finally reached the cave, there was a blanket in it and a fire lay smoldering, a sign of recent activity. He knew he should go elsewhere before whoever owned the blanket returned for it, but he was just so cold and tired, and a little nap wouldn't hurt, right?

Ember seemed to share his thoughts, for she darted across the cave to the blanket and began picking at it excitedly. Maybe juts a little nap then, for his friends' sake.

N curled up against the wall with Nadia, burying himself against her fur. When that wasn't quite enough to keep him warm, he tugged the blanket up over the two of them, while Ember darted over to relight the fire before situating herself in his lap. Nadia's warmth comforted him, as did the familiar smell of her, and the weight of Ember against his legs until, little by little, N's eye lids began to droop, and his mind began to drift.

[RUBY]

aren't you
something
to admire,
cause you shine
so bright
like the
sun

In the corner of the room was a small metal pot, cover securely concealing the warm chicken noodle soup that was cooling down inside. It was no surprise it hadn't been noticed- it was just a regular metal pot. Small. Hidden in plain sight, you could say. And the green haired boy must have been so, so tired- he and his pokemon had surely traveled a long way, hadn't they?He obviously hadn't seen it. Besides, it was just a pot. It wasn't important at all, right?

Wrong. You see, if the boy with the green hair had noticed this pot, there was a slim chance he would have settled in this cave. The pot was the only sign that someone was currently living in the cave. Sure, the blankets, the crumpled paper on the floor, the bags, the books...they all show that someone had lived in this cave at some point, but this pot of soup. It was still warm. Meaning someone was eventually going to come back for it.

---

Ruby wandered through the foliage that he knew oh-too-well. He easily recognized everything- every chip in the bark of the trees, every little bush that grew those irresistible, yummy berries which had helped him live over the past six months. Of course, after spending so much time in this one little area, who wouldn't know the space like the back of their hand? Anyone who didn't must be awfully unobservant and quite foolish, because there were plenty of things to gain from knowing the land.

There was this wonderful place where the grass was nice and trim, leading right up to the edge of the small pond; a place where the lilypads roamed carelessly about the water as the moon's reflection made the whole clearing glisten at night. It was just big enough for a few pokemon and a human boy- if he was small enough, of course. And Ruby was small enough.

So there he sat- with his wonderful companions next to him, Arrow and Pockets. This was the time for a gentle, womanly touch. Ruby needed a mother, and the Gardevoir and Blissey were the closest things he had to one. They were wonderful listeners- they heard and understood each and every word that came out of his mouth, for sure. And they understood his grief and pain even more.

He lit a candle and set it in front of him. "I miss her, guys." Ruby broke the silence with a plain confession, staring down at his knees, which had been folded criss-cross apple sauce. Gardevoir rested a dainty hand on the boy's shoulder, her lips slowly curling into their expression of sorrow. "I thought I wouldn't, I mean, it's been a y-year..." His words broke, "But I do."

The candle flickered. Ruby waited.

"Alright." He said, standing himself up. "Let's um, y'know. Let's finish up." And they did. The two pokemon gave a small prayer and left Ruby alone to finish.

"I hope you've had a good year in heaven." He says quietly, eyes locked to the sky. "Can you believe it? A year. A year on the dot you've been gone..." He took a breath. "..And I still miss you more everyday. Why?" The boy waits for a moment- but no reply comes. No reply ever comes. "Good night, Sapphire."

The candle flickered. Ruby left.

---

Ruby met up with Arrow and Pockets outside of the clearing, putting on a brave face and giving them the biggest smile he could manage. "Alright, who's ready for dinner?" They weren't fooled by his enthusiasm. He was trying hard not to tear up, and it was clear to two of his closest friends that he would keep trying until he never had the urge to shed a single tear again. The played along and gave nods, and their trainer dashed off into the woods, leaving them to follow.

When Ruby arrived back at the cave's exterior, he was quite startled to see a fire crackling from inside. Startled enough to get a little panic out of the usually calm Ruby. Had someone tracked him down? Was it that candle? Oh man, if that candle had given him away he would be so.....Aaaaagh! Only one thing to do. The boy dropped to his hands and knees and began digging a few feet away from the cave, eventually reaching the small pistol he had placed there for safety.

His arm shook as he sidestepped into the cave carefully, gun pointed straight.

But what he saw was no threat. It was a person, about his age, curled up with a Zoroark and a Chimchar, under all of Ruby's blankets. He stuck the gun behind a rock in the cave, and moving very quietly, bent down and grabbed the man's shoulders.

Shake, shake.

LAIKA OF GS!

[N]

They were coming for him, dark shapes in the night that he couldn't quite make out. Closer and closer, they were coming. They whispered accusations in the dark. It had been wrong, all wrong. He would be the death of them. He had made things worse. They would find him. He would pay. They would find him. They would kill his friends. They would make him watch.

Dark shapes with dark faces, and even darker spaces where their eyes should have been. His own eyes had vanished as well. It didn't occur to him that he shouldn’t have been able to see them without eyes, that this wasn't real, and he shook beneath the weight of their eyeless glares.

He turned and ran, darted past shapes that could have been trees, or people, or more nameless figures closing in all around him. He ran, and he ran, and ran.

They followed.

He was the blind leading the blind, but that much wasn't any different. That was how it had always been, how it would continue to be. How could he lead them when he couldn't even make out the shapes of their faces, or their bodies, or their emotions? He couldn't, he just...couldn't. It didn't make sense. Hy couldn't they pin their hopes on someone else? Why couldn't they just leave him alone?

His legs began to burn, burned until he collapsed in a heap, and they surrounded him, whispering their foul whispers until his cheeks were stained with tears. Closer and closer they came. Closer...and closer...and closer...until...

Shake. Shake.

N woke with a scream.

[RUBY]

aren't you
something
to admire,
cause you shine
so bright
like the
sun

A scream. Ruby eyes the gun, but dismisses the thought of using it, instead bolting over to the pot of soup and pouring some into a thermos.

Yes, Ruby has had plenty of bad dreams before. Many of them occurred in this very cave. Horrible nightmares- simple, but terrifying in their own right. In dreams, anything can happen, and that can truly make nightmares some of the most feared experiences of a person's life. And once you've seen someone eyes roll, head lull back, knees buckle, and skull hit the ground, littering it with blood- then you can only hope that you forget seeing the life leave them.

Shake it off, shake it off.

And Ruby brings the man the soup, co-orcing it into his freezing cold hands as his green eyes open.

"Eat. And then tell me why you're here."

LAIKA OF GS!

[N]

N's scream echoes off the cavern walls, bouncing and redoubling until Nadia nuzzles him and pulls him closer. It's a familiar dance, so familiar that Ember barely even stirs. One eye cracks open lazily and surveys the situation before drifting closed again. The boy filling the thermos is not a threat.

The green haired boy stares wide eyed and uncomprehending as the other boy ladles soup into the beat up old thermos. For a moment, he sees only a shape, a figure...one of them, and he expects accusations to come pouring out of it's mouth. Instead, when the boy returns, he's there to press a h container of soup into N's cold, unresisting hands. He should resist, he should scream...shouldn't he? N doesn't quite know what to make of the situation, of this small, unexpected kindness. For that's what it is, a kindness, and n isn't quite sure what to do with it, so he doesn't so anything. He just sits there, eyes fixed on the thermos as though he doesn't quite know what it's for. And maybe he doesn't. He's been living off the land for so long now, the man-made container feels strange in his hands. He slides his fingers over the well-worn surface, noting each scratch and dent, fingering each grove once, twice before moving on.

His fingers linger on a small spot where some of the paint has chipped away, and he stares at it, because it's easier than making eye contact with the other boy, because N knows he's watching, waiting for something...expecting, and N never knows what anyone wants from him.

Eat, and then tell me why you're here, the boy had said. Eat. Eat. His stomach gurgles as if on command, reminding him that he hadn't been able to find many berries to feast on today, and the fish that he'd caught in that one stream a while back had run out two prior.

Frowning, he sniffs the soup as a Zorua might, checking for hints of anything unnatural, then passes it off to Nadia so that she can do the same, because he doesn't quite trust his own instincts anymore. She nods and N brings the thermos to his lips, taking a too big gulp that leaves him coughing and choking. He clutches the thermos for dear life as he fights for air.

It's a long time after he stops coughing before he takes another sip, and this time he's far more cautious. He doesn't trust it, keeps expecting it to slip down the wrong pipe or scald him. It does neither. He takes another sip, then another, and another, and before he knows it, the thermos is empty, and he's left with the realization that the other boy is still watching him, still expecting something from him.

He should say something, express his gratitude. That's the human thing to do, but it's been an awful long time since he's felt human, and he remains silent instead, until Nadia butts at the back of his head with her nose. ”I was cold,” he says at long last. It's the only thing he's sure of anymore.

[RUBY]

aren't you
something
to admire,
cause you shine
so bright
like the
sun

He waits for a reply. It doesn't come.

Why won't anybody answer him? Why won't she answer him? That's all Ruby wants right now. Just an answer- one answer- and he'll keep asking until he gets one. If he stops asking, would he stop missing her? forgetting is the key to recovery He knows she's up there. He knows she's still watching her dear John, after all- how could she forget? She wouldn't forget. Would she? maybe you don't mean as much to her as she did to you Not possible. He'd give the sun for her. would she do that for you Yes. no

"YES!" The child shouts as the basketball rolls into the hoop, dropping to the ground and bouncing high. Take that!" He brags to her, slowly and confidently jogging over to retrieve the ball and shoot again.

But the little brown haired girl moves like lightning, zipping past her friend and reaching out to the ball, before snatching it up and dribbling it away. "You think you're good at this, don't you Ruby!" And then she laughs. A beautiful, infectious, happy sort of giggle that sends shivers down your spine and makes you laugh along.

And Ruby just stops. Watches. How her hair whips in the hoenn breeze, how her eyes glisten like the crystal waters of the ocean, and how her smiles shines through every sort of darkness, like the sun sending rays filtering through the trees. Wow.

Ruby's thoughts are interrupted by the arrival of his two pokemon, Arrow and Pockets. Arrow is wary of these new visitors, but Pockets shows enthusiasm from the start and waddles over to the chimchar as fast as she can, giving his a nice, motherly kiss on the forehead.

Meanwhile, this mysterious young man guzzles his soup, finishing it rather quickly. Funny, Ruby had always preferred to savor each and every bite, even when he was starving. It seemed more enjoyable. More logical. But N was even hungrier than Ruby (who was wicked thin after six months of living on canned soup and a few crackers.) and he was a different sort of person, clearly. He acted on instinct- Ruby knew this because the green haired man had slept in a cave full of blankets and items that were not his own.

Yeah, they were very different.

But this man must be a good person in general, it was easy to tell by the way his pokemon clung to him. They needed him just as much as he needed them, and that was something Ruby could relate to. So N wasn't kicked out, and Ruby waited patiently for his answer, whilst Arrow poured him his own thermos of soup.

"I understand." Ruby says after a pause. He's been cold before too. "I've been cold before too." The boy says exactly what he thinks. "It can be pretty rough out there..." People die out there. She did. "What's your name?"

LAIKA OF GS!

[N]

What's your name? It's a simple question. It should be. What's your name? Archimedes. No, that was a long time ago, barely remembered...or was that just in the dream? It didn't suit him, not anymore, maybe not ever. N Harmonia. No, not Harmonia, there were too many things he didn't care to remember tied to that name. His name. ”N.” Just N. Maybe that's all it's ever been. It's an odd name. A single letter. Not really a name at all by most people's standards. It suits him. He isn't much of a person by most people's standards, only a pawn. Always a pawn...not anymore. ”My name is N.”

He doesn't ask for the other boy's name. If he gives it, he gives it. Names have never meant much to N. There's a mess of them inside his head and, half the time, he can't keep them straight. He tells no one. Doesn't even smile and nod, because that doesn't occur to him. He just stares blankly, and hopes that no one will notice. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. N wonders which sort this boy will be, or if it will even matter.

Though still sleepy, Embers wonders very little, until Pockets kisses her forehead, then she's up, and about, and curious about everything. She greets the Blissey with excited chatter. “Friend,” she says, and though she thinks of most as friends, N takes her word for it, and feels some of the tension drain from his body just the same. Friends. Maybe. It's been a long time since he's had any human friends, since anyone has accepted him with open arms. Touko had gone off he knew not where – he missed her. She'd been better at this. Black, he hadn't heard from Black in a long while now. And that girl. Sapphire. The one that fate had brought him to. She had accepted him, and death had accepted her. N wondered if that meant something. You're meant to be alone. No...that wasn't it...but what then?

”We're all cold in the end.” She had been cold. Even in the dream, she had been cold...but she had accepted him, had accepted his hand, and climbed upon his back, and felt his fur, and hadn't been afraid. And when he'd awoken without her, he'd been cold. But that was just a dream. ”That is our fate.” My fate.

[RUBY]

aren't you
something
to admire,
cause you shine
so bright
like the
sun

The little brown haired girl noticed her friend staring, so she took a shot. Around and around the rim....Nope. "Aw man!" The young girl shouts in disappointment, running to get to the rebound. Her calloused fingers could barely hold the ball enough to dribble- but somehow, she managed. Sapphire always managed.

Sapphire always managed. Sure, she might have grown a cold exterior, but her true self was a diamond in the rough, a rare pearl in an endless ocean. And sure, her death may have been gruesome. The hair that Rufio had brought back to Ruby was bloody and matted- crookedly chopped off and ugly...But the only reason it looked that way to him is because it wasn't attached to her head; it was nowhere near her beautiful face.

"Hey Ruby, catch!" She gave a quick shout, throwing the ball at Ruby's chest. Hard. Sapphire wanted to play, not just sit around here staring at each other. What kind of fun was that?

Ruby wasn't paying attention to her words at all- but he saw the ball and quickly sidestepped it- leaving it to bounce past him and down the small hill next to the basketball court.

The children chased after the ball, but it just kept rolling away.

Everything rolled away. Slowly, yes, but eventually all positive feeling in this world would be drained. it was inevitable- and Ruby was just about ready to give up on his own optimism. Everything would end up cold. "We're all cold in the end."

N's words, not his thoughts. And so the boy responded the only way he knew how. "I suppose." Ruby said, his head erupting with objections to this odd truth N had proposed. "But someone gifted us with fire," He continued, "So all you need to do is find one to warm you up." Ruby had a fire, once. But the wind and chills burned her out, leaving an empty carcass of what had been, an empty snake skin that had been forcefully shed.

Ruby supposed some of it was his own fault- he had fought this fire too, once. But if he had known her future-his future- then, he would have kindled it. Found a way to let it burn brighter.

"My name is John." A soft lie.

It's for the better.

LAIKA OF GS!

[N]

It had been hard to wake up, to feel the tug of fate loosen, hard to lose that acceptance. But it had been inevitable, as so many things were.

N would have given anything to go back to that moment. To that and so many others. To revisit old friends, gained and lost, to find the thing that kept calling out to the world, saying : missing, missing and lost, lost. But that was a luxury that he didn't have.

Sometimes he saw them in dreams. Little snippets that felt like everything and amounted to nothing, hazy recollections that had no faces, no personality, that were only halfway real, halfway remembered. They were not fire, but smoke, and light, and air, and he was not sure that they had ever been fire. To someone else, maybe, but not to him. He was a boy without a fire.

And then there was Sapphire, the dying girl in his dream. N had a feeling that she had been a fire to someone, that she had once burned as bright as anything. And burned out. As all things must. She had reminded him of Touko in that moment: warm, and bold, and brilliant, almost painfully so, and in the dream he had felt her, felt it all, and she had known him, and accepted him, and gifted him with a fraction of that warmth, and it had been enough. And not enough...just like her. Just like Touko. There was a name that he would never forget.

Even now, he could imagine snatching up his hat and jamming it on her head, saying it looked better on her, and it did too, even though it slipped over her brow and nearly covered up her eyes. Touko. He'd liked her eyes, still did, though it was getting harder and harder for him to remember what they looked like. How long had it been now? Too long.

He was a boy without a fire.

”I uhm...thank you for the soup.” he said, remembering his niceties at long last, and he did not mention fire. He saw no point in talking about something that he could not have.

[RUBY]

aren't you
something
to admire,
cause you shine
so bright
like the
sun

Go on, put on your best smile, show him your teeth and pretend like everything's okay. That's always what you do now- you've been putting on a show for a long time; longer than a show should last. But it's your only option at this point, because you have nothing. Because you have no one. This is a sick, bloody little world, and you're all alone in it by now. Everyone else has given up and left you, and you want to do the same, you really do, but you can't bring the knife to your throat gun to your ear and cut shoot. You know you're too good for that.

You're cold, but you still have hope. Hope that your fire's still out there...even though it's clearly not. It's false hope, the worst sort of optimism you've ever shown, yet it's the only kind you can muster up. Probably because it's the easiest to create.

Ruby had been a fire once. Years and years ago, traveling across this new, exotic region with his two best friends- but when they went their separate ways, his own fire left him. And it would never come back. Because Ruby wasn't strong enough for this. Ruby was never as strong as she was, even when she was taking her last breath. He was weak.

Incorrect. Ruby was naturally surprised, as he had no idea where the voice was coming from. You're strong. You have willpower. Restraint. The boy's eyes flit to Arrow and Pockets. Their faces are full of pride.

Not for themselves- It's clear that they're admiring Ruby. His courage, his strength, his restraint....Him.

And suddenly, Ruby remembered those pokeballs in his bag....Maybe he did have a fire.

"Don't worry about it." He says, and then sips his own soup. "So you were hiking," Ruby began, "And you got, uh, you got chilly. So you were looking for a place to stay, and you found my cave." He clarified, thinking about it for a moment. "Why didn't you turn back and spend the night in Fortree? It's not that far off, you know."

LAIKA OF GS!

[N]

"Incorrect." N's, eyes go wide as he searches the faces of John's pokemon. He understands them far better than he understands the boy. People are impossible, complicated things. They don't make nearly enough sense.

"You're strong. You have willpower. Restraint. " It doesn't make sense, and then, all at once, it does. The words are not for him, but for the other boy, the boy with the smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes.

N looks at him again, this time considering, meeting his gaze, if only for a moment. He's never been able to look long. The meeting of eyes seems somehow wrong to him. Too hard. Too revealing When they darted away again, he frowns.

”They care for you a great deal.” You must be a good person. He doesn't say who. He doesn't need to.

The empty thermos remains pressed between his palms, giving him something to focus on. Back and forth, back forth, N passes it from one hand to the other, finding fidgeting easier than revealing his hand. Why hadn't he just stayed in Fortree? Why? It wasn't safe. Someone might know him there. He doesn't like cities. They're too crowded, too loud. There are too many people.

He settles for the simplest answer, no less true, for all that it says too little. ”I know" he says, and he does. "But I can't.” They'll find me. ”My friends don't like cities.” It isn't untrue. They prefer the open countryside, as he does, but for him, they would endure it, and they have on more than one occasion. But they shouldn't have to. And they wouldn't, not anymore. He owed them that much.

And then there was the fact that this place was not his. Had he known that the cave was occupied when Nadia had spotted it, N would have avoided it for fear of discovery. I know I shouldn't be here, that this is your den."I'll leave in the morning." I won't trouble you any longer.

[RUBY]

aren't you
something
to admire,
cause you shine
so bright
like the
sun

They do care for him a great deal, don't they? Ruby had never thought about that. Pokemon were beautiful creatures, capable of possessing such love and loyalty to those close to them...Luckily, his team- no, his friends, cared about him the way they did. If they didn't, Ruby would have gone crazy in this cave by now, all alone. "Yeah." He admits, giving a microscopic smile.

"I can say the same for you, and your's." Ruby says, staring down at the Chimchar and Zoroark. They are absolutely in love with their trainer, and it shows. Anyone who can create that sort of bond with their pokemon is surely no idiot, as such relationships can go a very long way. Pokemon offer protection, loyalty, and most importantly, company. It seemed like that's what N was lacking in right now. He felt alone, it was clear.

Maybe their was something similar about them after all.

"It's hardly a city." He says, taking another gulp of his soup. Ruby would know- he had spent a lot of time there. In his original journey through Hoenn he had always liked Fortree, and naturally, when the territory was proclaimed "protected from lux and nox" he had gone to live there. A nice tree house, a warm bed, that gentle breeze that carried good feelings- it was truly a magnificent town. But it had lost it's charm in comparison to this old cave. The cave was magnificent too. Sure, it was cold, the ground was hard, and he didn't have a bed to sleep alone- but one good reason overruled each bad one when it came to the cave.

He was completely, utterly alone in this cave. No more people would apologize for 'his loss,' no more people would tell him to go and fix something that he didn't want to fix. No more fighting his grief, no more trying to make himself feel better. If Ruby wanted to be sad, he'd be sad goddammit, and no one could tell him otherwise. This was the only reason- the one and only reason that this cave could beat Fortree in terms of beauty. The silence and loneliness was beauty.

Or was it? Was this just a way of convincing himself to feel better? you know you hate this cave Ruby didn't mind the cave at all. yes you do, and you know it Sure, it was hard living alone sometimes, you can't stand being alone like this but Ruby had his pokemon. He was fine. no you're not Maybe he's not.

"Stay as long as you like." says Ruby, silently pleading that N will stay for longer. Speaking like this- using human words- to a tangible person was necessary. "But I know that's not your only reason for staying out of Fortree." He tries to catch N's eye.

"You're not a hiker. You were running away, weren't you?"

LAIKA OF GS!

[N]

“You're not a hiker. You were running away, weren't you? ” N wonders how it can be that obvious. He's always had trouble reading people, but it's never stopped them from being able to read him like an open book. Except nowadays he feels more like an open book that's been left out in the rain, the ink from his pages running until everything is a jumble, and even N himself can't make any sense of it. But this boy still manages.

N frowns and clutches at the thermos, pressing it tight between his palms. ”No, I'm not.” Not what? A hiker? That much is true. Running away? Has there ever been a time when he wasn't running away? ”I...” he trails off, his gaze fixed resolutely upon the cave floor.

”I'm just passing through.” A half truth.

”It's complicated.” A whole one.

Does this boy know anything of running away? He's living in a cave, of course he does. N glances up at the boy for moment, then looks away, finding a nice rock to focus on instead. ”How long have you been living here?” he asks after the silence stretches between them far too long to be comfortable and then some. He's never been very good at knowing what to say or when to say it, but at least it's something, and he finds, suddenly, that he wants to know.

This boy is not the same but he is...similar somehow. Broken. And N begins to wonder if taking him up on his offer wouldn't be so terrible after all (for a little while). It would give his friends someone else to talk , allow them to relax and play, to be as they were meant to be, for a time. Perhaps this, too, is fate.

[RUBY]

aren't you
something
to admire,
cause you shine
so bright
like the
sun

Ruby's thumbs rub against eachother, leaving him with a tingling feeling on his hands. The cold was just starting to eat away at him. It didn't help that his soup was gone- there had only been enough for two people, but Ruby was still hungry. Quite understandable, as it's pretty hard to live on chicken noodle soup and crackers. He stared down at his beaten up sneakers, running his fingers over each crevice and seam, paying attention to each little speck of dirt, like they were old memories of his journey across Hoenn.

His eyes flitter up when N starts to answer his intruding question. The boy sighs silently, looking into his guest's eyes and trying to figure out what he was playing at. He didn't believe a word coming from N's mouth.

And after a moment of studying this man, Ruby knew exactly how he had figured this all out. Ruby saw the same thing in N that he saw when he glanced in a mirror- loneliness. And lots of it. He felt alone. They both did, and there was nothing wrong with getting a head start on everyone else. They'd all end up lonely in the end, wouldn't they? If so, why not be lonely together? It seemed like a much better idea.

He chooses not to respond to N's story. Better to just leave him alone- if he didn't want to talk, Ruby wouldn't make him. There was no reason to get nosy.

"I've been here five months." A sigh. "One week, three days, and about..." Ruby checks his watch, pursing his lips before taking a quick breath. "two hours."

And that's a whole truth.

LAIKA OF GS!

[N]

Five months, one week, three days, and two hours - John rattles off the time he's spent in the solitude of the cave the way a prisoner recites time served, quickly and efficiently. And he is a prisoner, in a way, isn't he?

N knows that feeling all too well -being trapped - because no matter where he goes, he feels trapped within his own skin - confined - and there's nowhere left to go, not really. His feet may take him here or there, may lead him away from the trouble that he's caused, the people that he can't face, but the whole world is his prison now, it's inhabitants his jailers, and someone will find him soon enough. Some one will find the way he has found John, and drag him kicking and screaming back into the thick of things.

He's always in the thick of things. he doesn't want to be, but he is. Ghetsis made sure of that early on and it stuck. Now he can't escape it. It is my destiny.

Destiny. The inescapable ties that bind us to this world, that bring us together and tear us apart a hundred thousand times on a whim, claiming grand design. Destiny. N would give anything to be free of it's pull, forever demanding more than he has left to give. And what of John's destiny?

N looks him over, really looks this time, though their eyes never meet, he is careful of that. The eyes, after all, say things, reveal the inner workings of the face and the body like a road map, but N has always had trouble reading both the signs and the destination, as if everything has been written in a foreign language or a code that he'd never been taught to decipher, and that frustrates him. The others....they have no trouble reading him, though his affect is always slightly off, his reactions a little odd...or maybe they do, maybe he is as strange and inhuman to them as they seem to him.

"That's a long time" Isn't it?